its so messed up.< | Monday, October 30
ugh, i dont know whats going on
whats the status like.
its really tiring, really confusing
really muddled up.
im sorry for THAT week.
i swear if this is gonna end.
im never gonna ever get hooked up again.
i dont wanna go through that whole experience
it probably gonna take years
before i even think of going into one.
but nevertheless, its been a fruitful and meaningful journey
every special moment was treasured
and held close to my heart.
but im gonna miss all that
and its just gonna be in my memories
just know that i love you.
and all i want is that B status.
whether its gonna be the name tag or not
it doesnt matter anymore.
i think it might be better if i leave.
so much for last night's decision, for this morning promise
if its gonna change, i told you, it wont change overnight.
so since it hasnt change, why is this happening?why isnt it not the same?
Monday, October 30, 2006
-- skip thatbeat!
3rd post.< | Saturday, October 28
wow. three posts already
i think im really gonna die.
loving you is such a painful ordeal.
i cant help it, can i?
i stop myself from leaving you.
everytime you're sad, down or crying,
i stop myself from leaving you.
,just to see for myself if you're alright.
just to see if you're smiling.
its just so different, obviously seen from the
way of addressing each other.
but if im the one thats taking away that smile
i dont wanna fool myself any longer
i will leave.
Saturday, October 28, 2006
-- skip thatbeat!
UGHH!< |
im so pissed.
doing physics 2hours consecutively
after tuition is torture.
i got like 4questions wrong in a row!
what the shite.
im so bloody pissed
with concepts and facts.
im in no mood for anything
im not going anywhere
im not meeting anyone
im gonna stay at home and rot and die.
ughh.
Saturday, October 28, 2006
-- skip thatbeat!
piercings through my heart.< |
im utterly disappointed.
i dont even know whats going on.
whats happening,
maybe i just bother TOO much.
maybe i should just not care anymore
since sometimes its so redundant isnt it?
i dont know why im always the one
who takes the first step in trying to make things right.
or maybe im wrong about that.
but im a GIRL,
i want to play the role of a girl
but maybe im just not an ordinary girl
sighh.
im just in no mood for anything
all i want, is to see you now.
Saturday, October 28, 2006
-- skip thatbeat!
why?< | Thursday, October 26
many times there are things we dont want to hear
things that unpleasing to our ears
things we want to avoid
things we want to not know.
but nobody promised things would be easy
even god didnt promise that.
but he did promise that
he'll never ever let us go through something
we cant bear.
with his supernatural strength, we can.
life is just so unpredictable
lifes so fragile.
sometimes, scary.
but it just boils down to two words for me,
why her? why?
it always saddens me when these kind of stuff happens
though its someone that isnt related immediate.
my heart softens and my whole mood changes.
it will take me time to get over it,
aunty june:
despite what has happened, im hearten
to know youre safe with the lord,
that he free you from all suffering
and now you walk with strength in him,
i will miss you.
alvin:
im not sure if you will see this,
but take heart shes safe in god's mighty hands
i know this is gonna be a tough period of time for
you and your family,
but i will be here when you need me,
please take loads of care,
lots of love.
baby:
i know how exactly you feel
its the same for me too.
but please cheer up?
we will get through this TOGETHER.
i will be here just as you have always been.
i love you heaps.
Thursday, October 26, 2006
-- skip thatbeat!
tues.< | Wednesday, October 25
baby! ive uploaded the pics already! (:
okay, im supposed to get changed
and out of the house in about 5mins?
haha. mep AGAIN! (:
i hope it would be fun. haha.
not very productive studying yesterday
but i did get some ss done (:
math and physics!
someone force me to do geog please.
its so dry :(
even chem's more interesting.
alright i will update later!
i love you all.
and i miss everyONE of you!
Wednesday, October 25, 2006
-- skip thatbeat!
monday!< | Tuesday, October 24
about yesterday its rather weird. haha.
mep lessons were alright,
just that the guys were so noisy please.
another session on wed! help me! : /
studying wasnt as productive as i expected
but at least i did something.
unlike the couple la.
omg, they are so full of each other!
like even not knowing how ta do
simple interest & compound?
not that im looking down, but rather worrying.
hopefully today would be a productive session of studying!
alright, its breakfast time!
eggs and ham and bacon and sausage are waiting for me!
baby arent you drooling? grins.
Tuesday, October 24, 2006
-- skip thatbeat!
(:< | Sunday, October 22
haha, okay im bored
though i havent studied anything.
but i went vivo. : /
its so crowded.
i saw darling cheryl la! with her boyfriend!
that sexaye ladaye! (:
then i saw the whole ging gang of retards!
shouting my name at the top of their voices!
gosh, i miss all of you!
jamie,jenn,jonl,yeong,barn,all of you!
okay, back to my BOOKS!
i love my baby! :D
Sunday, October 22, 2006
-- skip thatbeat!
sundayy.< |
so its sunday,churched
wasnt really in service though
was so rushed with the board and stuff
my dear peanut and babY!
thanks for helping! really appreciated (:
thank god next week will be rather slack
i have the week off
except that ive got extra mep lessons :/
and im so dreading monday's one!
i gotta do really productive studying!
its now or never! haha,
few weeks more and i will be out of prison!
haha, grins grins.
ilena im so tempted to cafe cartel la! haha.
i love you my lovely boyfriend! (:
sometimes i feel so useless
its like i couldnt reach out to you
to even be there for you, i mean i am.
but its just that you kept denying theres something wrong
why does it seem like others know everything
and i dont?
and i feel such a silly fool.
Sunday, October 22, 2006
-- skip thatbeat!
SIGH of relieved.< | Saturday, October 21
whoots, things are fine
after thrashing out (:
im glad its all good. im
really am relieved okayy.
so cramming organic chem the
whole morning was rather vexing.! haha
did some math. sort of la.
but im really really braindead.
towned, met my dear baby
and peanut and grace.
haha fate brought us together. lol.
its kinda funny how the gossip session
revolved around the two of them. (:
baby brought me home!
it was fantabulous. haha.
i love you!
i better get back to my books if i wanna
chat chat chat!
no more tears of sadness(:
Saturday, October 21, 2006
-- skip thatbeat!
ughhh,< | Thursday, October 19
ilena, thanks loads girl. youre the best.
i dont know whats wrong
and i dont know why things are like that
havent i been the best that i could
especially for you.
i never meant i wanted my space
so i could get a chance to go out with other guys
i never had other guys,
i never even have the thought of it.
you wanted your space
i gave you,
in order that you dont want to affect me
don tell me then. simple.
throughout all these
i never blamed you
i blamed myself for not being good enough
im no where near you
in terms of academics, wealth, looks, bod, musical talents
im far from it, so far, sometimes i feel
really inferior.
i just blamed myself for being
so hopeless, so useless,
so stupid, its not my fault isnt it?
i just want things back the same
if it ever will be,
it takes two hands to clap.
im so hurt when i see two words
shown in my phone-forget it.
my heart just dropped
its so painful, tears rolled down
i told myself to be strong,
to go on, but its so hard.
its so hurting, so depressing.
i just dont want to cry to sleep.
Thursday, October 19, 2006
-- skip thatbeat!
breathe in and out.< | Sunday, October 15
FIRSTLY,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY DEAREST PEANUT!
i hope you liked my present!
it was specially handpicked! (:
gosh, it feels really good back in church
being so burdened in many ways
has definitely calmed me in some ways
and just having the presence of god
makes me feel oh-so-good.
im so dead la.
o's are so near and im so far behind
im so so screwed. : /
help! help! help!
ah samantha chan!
better get your ass down and study
youre the laziest bum bum ever!
and youre so gonna fail your o's
if youre not gonna study!
grrrrr.
i love you baby.
Sunday, October 15, 2006
-- skip thatbeat!
hee.< | Friday, October 13
its been a couple of days since i blogged
ive been really really stressed out! ahh. :(
these few nights hadnt been too good
with those thrashing out moments
and venting-your-anger moments
but im glad all's fine :D
it was nice seeing you dropping by
though i left, youre the best (:
thanks for the stripe headband baby,
i totally love it la, though i chose it. haha.
thanks for today, i love ta bits.
gosh, seeing the teachers
'throwing' piles of papers at us scare me :(
im so so dumbfounded by it. grr.
hopefully i can finish it!
alright i better do some work
at least get my acsi math paper done
its so hard! haha.
im gonna miss you 4B,
you guys are the best,
no doubt im always wanting to get out of
yellow&blue quick,
but its just something that makes me
dont wanna leave.
i love you all, each and everyone of you.
Friday, October 13, 2006
-- skip thatbeat!
help!< | Wednesday, October 11
ahhhh! helpppp!
somebody help me!
report books are back. released
omg freaking goodness!
im so dead la.
to think i was still hoping that it would be
returned on 21nov
boy! how wrong was i :(
i hope it would turn out fine. pray for me!
jaclyn! i hope you too! (:
gosh, im so happy again
after a horrid moment of thrashing out
things are back on track
and it was great seeing you today :D
*snakes stick their tongues out real fast!
(inside joke. lol )
nevertheless i love you.
cand! omg. i love gossiping with you please.
we must take a pic this sunday!
love you my sexy woman.
ilena i love you too okay!
you better keep calling me!
i told you, i will owe you cafe cartel! :)
i better get down to homework.
tonns and heaps of them!
love you all!
Wednesday, October 11, 2006
-- skip thatbeat!
< | Tuesday, October 10
its oh so fucking depressing.
yes blame it on me blame it on me
its all my fault okay.
have fun with all your girls.
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
-- skip thatbeat!
ughhhhhhh< |
first,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY KENNETH FOONG! (:
i will study hard and go ta ac so you can bring me ta partaye!
as promised. lol.
i was so happy today.
i swear i was okay.
but some things just have to go wrong
or just blame it on me
for being the cause of it
for just trying hard not to compromise
(i swear i am okayy.)
getting angry so easily over nothing
its just maybe you dont see
how much i want to meet you
how much i missed you
you dont see how sacrifices have to be made
or maybe youre just taking advantage of my kindness
i dont know.
and i told you take it that i was planless
cos i didnt want to make decision difficult for you
neither do i want to look a dumb to you
but you didnt have to assume that i was going to study do you?
at least you could have asked or something?
it just seems as though you dont want me to be there
and you just want to have fun with the girls w/o being watched
i dont really care, i told you. just dont let me know
what i dont know wont hurt me.
its up to you if you still want to meet me on sat
just LET ME KNOW
since it seems as though im a doormat kinda thing
ugh. i dont know why im bothered by this anyway
im gonna do productive stuff thats worth my time
with teachers that are setting aside time to help me
im not gonna let them down. (:
plus, ive got a job offer after the o's
its gonna be kinda ineteresting (:
i love my girls and darling 4B
trust me, i still love you.
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
-- skip thatbeat!
hmmms.< | Monday, October 9
first and foremost, im so happy!
ilena tied me down today!
with my little string in my pencilcase.haha.
boyfriend no. 2 eh? (:
gosh, i love having a class on my own
its makes me feel belonged.
though im waiting to get out of yellow&blue!
my fave girls were amused by my lil watch
the one that jumps jumps!haha.
math lesson was hilarious,
we were checking ans on the board,
where yong tao was writing.
sam: yong tao why is your ans..
ilena,sam: 47.7! SNAP!
ilena: ive got..
ilean,sam: 46.7! SNAP!
ilena,sam: YONG TAO!! SNAP!
its really funny la.
maybe its not really funny here. but yeah
you should have heard us, its hilarious!
i give up typing the homework down
ive got PILES to do!
im only halfway to o's!
ugh, help me somebody!
im so distracted.
Monday, October 09, 2006
-- skip thatbeat!
second week< | Sunday, October 8
things hadnt been too good.
i hope its fine now
after the all the fantabulous chats and stuff on sat
i never dreamed of this happening.
im gonna mug hard next week too.
but this time being sure of the right purpose
and not to be overly stressed :D
pastor bernard:
by taking revenge on the other person
making you feeling the upper hand
does god mean so little?
im keeping that in mind
i love you baby
Sunday, October 08, 2006
-- skip thatbeat!
new added homework!< | Friday, October 6
english:
marsiling compo paper
mhss compre paper
acsi paper1
math:
prelim corrections
2006 o level paper
tkgs paper
chinese:
workbook
st.marg paper2
HCL sec3/4 paper1 (4)
chem:
sectionB
2001 o level paper
QA questions
physics:
o level 2000 paper
o level 2004 paper
o level 2005 paper
social studies:
o level 2002 paper
history:
hilgrove secMY paper
geog:
o level 2004 paper
i think im so stressed out,
i crashed the bed yesterday for almost 10 hours
and i have NOT accomplished my work! ugh
i want to study my heart out
but i want to do it joyfully
i dont want to do it with hatred.
cos its draining every single bit of energy
but i guess its only that, thats driving me on
i need your supernatural strength oh god!
im gonna indulge in something nice this weekend.
swensens (: i love you baby! youre the best.
Friday, October 06, 2006
-- skip thatbeat!
gahh! i hate you!< | Thursday, October 5
english:
marsiling compo paper
mhss compre paper
queenstown compre
acsi paper 1
math:
prelim corrections
2006 o level paper
tkgs paper
chinese:
workbook!
chem:
section b
2001 o level paper
physics:
olevel 2000 paper
olevel 2004 paper
olevel 2005 paper
social studies:
olevel2002 paper
history:
hillgrove sec MY paper
olevel2005 paper
geog:
olevel2004 paper
ugh, school is hell
one more day of hell tomorrow before the weekends!
give me a break someone.
i hate you. youre such a piece of fat shite.
so what if youre smart. big deal.
im gonna thrash your freaking ass flat for o's
just you wait.
Thursday, October 05, 2006
-- skip thatbeat!
bufuqi!< | Wednesday, October 4
----------edit-------------
26days to o level chinese, 32days to the rest
english:
marsiling compo paper
mhss compre paper
queenstown compre
math:
prelim corrections
2006 o level june paper
tkgs paper
chinese:
workbook!
chem:
sectionB
physics:
olevel2000 paper
olevel2004 paper
olevel2005 paper
social studies:
olevel2002 paper
history:
hillgrovesec midyear paper
olevel2005 paper
geog:
olevel2004 paper
im so darn bu fu qi la!ugh
you make my blood boil!
study hard sam study hard!
youre so lazy!
those who will be calling me at 2hour intervals!
thank you! i owe you once my o's are over okay!
really appreciated! :D
i want another pair of wedge! (:
Wednesday, October 04, 2006
-- skip thatbeat!
ughh.< | Tuesday, October 3
today's been such a bug-me-day!
ugh, jaclyn, thanks for listening to me that short while!
it meant alot. im so bugged at la : /
but thanks girl.
school's kinda crazy now,
homework every here & there.
its driving me crazy!
i have yet to sit down ta study proper :(
i think im stressed out. sigh.
plus you asking me those stuff made me
really frustrated actually.
as much as i didnt want you to feel uneasy
but it seems as though you didnt trust me
it gives me the feeling you doubt my love for you
or im just using you as a replacement.
for the last time,
that was the past, i dont want to bring it up
what matters is the present
but if you still want to cling on to it
theres nothing i can do.
and if things between us are like that,
all about the past.
i think honestly we shouldnt carry on
im tired of being questioned.
Tuesday, October 03, 2006
-- skip thatbeat!
the start of something awful< | Monday, October 2
okay, im pretty determined.
today will the start of the whole awful journey
im gonna study the shit out of the whole month
please everyone, do keep me on track okay.
really appreciated. (:
cand! my darling mugger partner! lol.
we shall we enthu muggers for a month
and it will be holland town bugis belts tops point shoes AFTER!
peanut&sam!: our jb trip! my mom agreed!
you two better wait for me to end before going okay!
love you two!
ugh, im really tired mentally, physically
emotionally, just as how ilena is.
i need your supernatural stength oh god.
homework piles again!
english:
compre,compo
math:
tkgs paper
chinese:
informal letter writing
chem:
olevel2005 paper
geog:
olevel2005paper
Monday, October 02, 2006
-- skip thatbeat!
